r Letter From Eastie: Inspired by the impending sense of doom
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Collaged view of Boston, from East Boston

Letter From Eastie

News and other items from East Boston, Massachusetts.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Inspired by the impending sense of doom

I feel when I think about the invading student hordes just waiting to storm the gates of our fair city; I present you with a partial list of things that I have seen on the T that I wish I hadn't.

1) The lady with the handcrafted cloth bookcover. Setting aside the fact that nobody over the age of 11 should have a bookcover, are you kidding me? Not only do you have a book cover, not only is it handcrafted in a fabric covered with images of cats (Cats!!), not only does said bookcover have handles (Can someone please tell me why a book would ever need handles?), but you felt the need to put this amazing contraption on a dime-store paperback. It's not like it was an original edition of Johnson's Dictionary. It wasn't even a spiffy new supermarket copy of The Davinci Code. From where I was standing it looked like it was a used copy of some romance novel form the 70s. Why not just make a t-shirt that says "I live with 59 cats" and be done with it?

2) The lady with pigeon feathers in her hair. Yes ladies and gents, you heard me right. I said "pigeon feathers" and I said "in her hair." Dirty-ass, rat of the sky, picked up off the street pigeon feathers.

3) Live Strong bracelets. Seriously people. You gave a whole dollar to charity like a year ago. Get over it already. What do you want a cookie?

4) Suitcases big enough to hold a dead body. Unless you are leaving town never to return again and you are carrying all of your worldly possessions, or you are, in fact, carrying a dead body around with you, I'm pretty sure you overpacked.

5) Hipster kids on the Blue Line. You think you look hot in your vintage 80's gear, don't you? Ok, kiddies, take it from me, a person who lived through the 80s. That stuff was not that attractive the first time around. If you are too young to remember when Madonna didn't have a fake British accent, you definitely should not be dressed like you are a back-up dancer from her Like a Virgin tour.

6) Dudes with their legs all splayed out in the middle of train as if they are on their living room couch; and, their close cousins, the dudes who read their newspapers bent over so that the newspaper takes up half the standing-room on the train—Didn't your mother's teach you to sit up straght? Newsflash—the world does not revolve around you!!

7) The people sitting on the remote interiors of the train who feel the need to crawl their way to the doors so that they are the first person off the train at a stop where everyone else is getting off anyway. Why? If you need to be the winner of the getting off the train race then why the hell are you sitting in the most inner seat? If you are that late for work or you are in that much of a rush, you desperately need to reexamine your life.

8) The "leaners" and the “huggers.” These are the people that think the upright bars on the train are for leaning their whole bodies against or for embracing in a bear hug. Normal, fully evolved members of the human race stand at a reasonable distance from these bars, holding on with one hand for balance, thus allowing other humans the chance to hold onto the same pole for balance. What is wrong with you people? It’s there for the convenience of passengers forced to stand on the train. It's not your girlfriend. It's not a stripper pole. It's not your mamma! Back off!

9) B.U. students. Need I say more?

7 Comments:

  • At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Mock Turtle said…

    Re: Item 9 -
    Please elaborate (if it's possible to do so civilly) for the benefit of us non-Boston residents. (You've got my curiosity up.)

    BTW, I enjoy your blog. I stayed in Eastie on a vacation trip to Boston a couple of years ago, and really liked what I saw (and tasted) of it. Hope to visit again one day.

     
  • At 9:25 PM, Blogger Marilora said…

    First of all, thanks for reading the blog.

    Hmmmm. How to explain BU students. Ok, first of all let me say that this is obviously gross generalization. There are lots of very nice BU students. However, the school is just so huge that they kind of move in packs--this includes on the B-Line which runs right through the BU campus. When you are just trying to ride home from a long day at work, you really don't want to hear a pack of them discussing their summer abroad, or the intimate details of all their friends hookups, etc., etc. I just find that they are. . .umm. . how shall I put this. . . slightly self absorbed. It's really hard to explain if you haven't experienced it.

     
  • At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Mock Turtle said…

    Oh sure, I know what you mean. I live in the vicinity of Emory U. in Atlanta, and it's a similar sort of crowd, I bet. One big difference: it being Atlanta and not Boston, you are definitely not likely to see packs of Emory students riding public transit. It's ALL about the cars here (unfortunately).

     
  • At 11:41 AM, Blogger Tiffany said…

    I can back up Maria. Living in the shadow of BU for 7 years I almost get homicidal just thinking about the students. Yes I have many funny stories about them. I could probably right a book on "My sex education through stories I have been forced to listen to on the T" but the instances when people have passed out or been sick and no one will give up their seat because quote " they had a hard day of shopping in their new coach heels and just because someone is old should not mean they get a seat" (end quote). The horror of the T conversations and the callous nature of humanity they expose in the 19-22 year old crowd is appalling and does not give one hope in the least.

     
  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger Marilora said…

    And I can back-up Tiffany, she definitely has the best T stories. She should have her own blog devoted to T stories. Which reminds me, will somebody please start an "Overheard in Boston" web site. I'm sure it would be totally different from the Overheard in NY site, but yet equally amusing.

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger eeka said…

    Regarding the people clinging to the poles, yeah, most of them are being weird and creepy. I might be one of them sometimes though, because I have really poor balance and have enough trouble standing when the ground is NOT moving. I usually walk without mobility aids, so people don't offer me a seat, and I've had people bitch at me when I'm having a particularly bad day and I ask for one, because I look pretty able-bodied if I'm not trying to do stairs or stand on a moving train, so I usually just resign myself to smashing myself against a pole and hoping I don't go splat.

    And yes, BU students as a whole are quite entitled.

     
  • At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Beth said…

    How about the people who see fit to touch all over you in a packed T situation? Shouldn't it be a matter of common courtesy to at least attempt to look like you're trying to avoid rubbing up against another person when the car is crowded?

     

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